...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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