so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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