Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
