Already got asked if we're dating
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Randomize