The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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