was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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