i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
cat food counts as protein by the way
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Randomize
