I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
