You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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