I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
only if we run a train.
done.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
