i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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