Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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