We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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