In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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