she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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