scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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