But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Too much gin, very little bucket
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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