i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
