i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
