Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
