you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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