She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
