But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
