My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
