3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
