NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
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