Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize