His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
