i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
It's blow job season.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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