3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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