STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize