i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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