We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize