I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize