Where is the hickey?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize