Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
