So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
