Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
