I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
