I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
