I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
