I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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