My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
