He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize