Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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