Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
