areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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