I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
