Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Randomize
