i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
