East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
