can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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