I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize