so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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