What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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