i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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