I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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